Self-Evaluation and Why It Sucks


This self-development journey has been brutal. I’ve grown in ways I could’ve never imagined a few years ago. I’m happier, healthier, and more joyful than I’ve ever been. Not because I chose it - but because I tore apart every aspect of my life. I looked through the pieces (the good, the bad and everything in between), evaluated each one, and worked to start living a life I was proud of. I started screaming “YES!” more and saying “No.” too. I asked myself some hard questions, had some even tougher conversations, and started being intentional with my life.


AND IT SUCKS.


Doing self-evaluation is hard. It feels like an ongoing therapy session that, while somewhat lethargic, can be overwhelming. Learning that you can be both a masterpiece and a work-in-progress is tough. The truth is, it’s so much easier for us to make excuses for our behavior or to shame and point our fingers at others rather than face our own ugly truths.


For me, so many of the things I decided to change were things I already knew, deep down, were bad for me. If I was taking bets, I bet this is the same for the majority of people.


I know I need to workout every day and that I consume too much sugar.


I know I need to spend less time reading in the evenings and spend more time playing with my kid.


I know I need to do better with budgeting, maintaining the house, meal prepping, checking in with family and friends, setting boundaries, letting go of anger, stressing about work, dealing with anxiety, volunteering, staying culturally informed, and so, SO much more.


Going through this process and making a conscious decision to make changes means accepting that you’re going to have to break a little before you put yourself back together. But the hardest part - you’re going to have to accept that it’s going to take time. There is no magic button or switch… despite what our environment sometimes leads us to believe.


Marketing today is designed to make it ‘easy’ and we throw money at it as quickly as we can. Instead of choosing to workout every day, we take a pill or supplement designed to make us “lose 10-15 pounds a month!” We click on articles with titles like “10 easy ways to make money from home” instead of learning to manage a budget and balance our finances. Because we’re busy!! We have so many other things going on in our lives that taking every shortcut we can find is often the quickest way to try and put a band-aid on our problems.


But true, sustainable, meaningful change is HARD. We can wish and hope for things to change as much as we’d like; but unless we’re intentional with actually making changes every single day, things aren’t going to get any better. And to make things harder, we’re going to screw it up. Even if we start making baby steps to improve certain areas of our lives, we’ll have a bad day. We’ll mess up. And we’ll either beat ourselves up about it, or we’ll use it as an excuse to stop altogether and go back to the way things were. But if we keep going… if we fight, stand back up, build a supportive environment to help us, and hustle our asses off, we do more than put a band-aid on our problems - we create solutions. We change our lives.


So, yes, self-evaluation and development sucks. It takes Moxie to wake up every day and be brave enough to commit to being better, to being intentional, and to being both a masterpiece and a work-in-progress. But it’s so, so worth it.


Try it… you’ll see.



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